Alok Priyadarshi'94


AXIOM: Whenever you have got a chance to relax, do it without the slightest provocation.

In the light of above axiom, a few theorems can be inferred. They have been enumerated below.

  1. Whenever any teacher is not coming in the class and you have nothing better to do, sleep.
  2. If someone takes classes before and after lunch, don’t sleep in the class before lunch and always do it after lunch and blame the lunch.
  3. The firstees have got the license to kill ‘cos the needle of suspicion always goes to the rest of Gymkhana. So make plenty use of this privilege.
  4. If you watched a football or a cricket match at night, it gives your sleeping claim a sound theoretical backing. Also there will certainly be teachers who would be more than willing in giving off for their own good. Identify them and strike at the opportune moment. Even if the teacher starts teaching, he can be led into football talking. Taking advantage of his football crush, try to gain sympathy. Even if you didn’t watch the match, well, who knows.
  5. Just in case you think that, given the distance and the power of accommodation of the teacher in question, things are difficult for him, make things really tough for him by putting your specks frame in front of your eyes. (The author had the privilege, some call it knack, of sneaking some forty winks this way.
  6. Sometimes, in real emergency cases (that is when none of the above theorems hold good), try the headache route.
  7. About two weeks before the club day, all the above instructions pales in comparison to the ‘club day preparation’ stuff (‘club day’ can be a very powerful tool, if used effectively and the nearer it comes, more valid your claim becomes),
  8. If the allure of bed is too hard to resist and the leaves are intact, try the ultimate weapon, diarrhoea. It has an advantage over other forms of leave generation in that it can’t be checked with the present level of technology.

A word of caution: don’t overdo it or else the genuine cases might suffer.

Of course these are to serve as a rough guide and are not an end in themselves. In this challenging field (especially with the batch strength going down), the more creative you are, the better are your chances of survival. Methods like sitting in the first row so that suspicion is not aroused, piling up of books in different ways, practicing sleep with eyes wide open etc can be quite handy in some situations. Spring surprises to catch everyone unawares so rearm your arsenal with new, genuine and effective weapons.

Second last rule: Always try to keep somebody on guard duty unless things are really cool (a burglar’s alarm will not be a good idea after all).

The LAST rule is that there are no rules.

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