FROM OUR ARCHIVES

MATRIMONY AND GYMMIE

This article, written by Mr. Anil Handa'75 appeared in SAM twenty years back. Hope it makes for some interesting reading.)

 

What should be the perspective of a prospective bridegroom? The answer (if you can call it that! ) to this question has been keenly discussed at great lengths by many a Gymmie boy. The venue of these discussions ranges from the dining hall to the squash court. Usually however the arguments centre on the prospective Gymmie. There are a couple of sober looking (?) Gymmies (who have nothing else to do) who paint a very rosy picture about the matrimonial prospects of a young Sam. Their hallucinations wander around a suave and debonair Sam and a Cleopatra playing hide and seek in the Garden of Eden. However, all the hopes and aspirations of these buddies got completely shattered and they heard the frank opinion of a Simi at the recent club day. She said, " leave apart this big talk, all I can say is that the men in the administrative services and in the private sector have better matrimonial prospects." These guys argued with her for more than an hour, but the lady was adamant.

Coming to the crux of the problem, these guys, the matrimonial fanatics, want to know how they can their image so that they can outsmart others in this competitive field. These guys have queries like whether girls prefer men who play tennis better than squash or who can wield the willow better than a hockey stick. The 'matrimonial group' (if I may call them that) have reached one firm conclusion - that girls like men (especially Sams) with moustaches (source of information is a top secret). No wonder, one can see the members of this clan sporting moustaches having peculiar contours on their pale baby like faces.

Another diversion for the members of the matrimonial group is their constant attack on the string of mess managers who come and go. They complain that the grub and especially the potatoes are ruining their matrimonial prospects! However, the obese ones continue to 'hog' everything that comes their way. Obesity, for them, is no longer a predicament but an asset. (After the entire average Indian woman is on the heavier side).

One of the most surprising characteristics of the 'matrimonial group' is their inherent introvert nature. Among themselves, they talk very big ( All censored stuff) but whenever they are confronted with strangers or guests (ladies included) they remain tongue-tied. Perhaps that is the reason why they are bent on improving their images by one means or the other !

The 'matrimonial group' has also valuable consultation services provided to them. Whenever a probationer or any other young Sam happens to drop in Gymkhana, these guys take full advantage of the situation. They keenly listen (and subsequently analyze!) to the various 'adventures' of the ever debonair, young Sam. They have also succeeded in coercing the Editor (I won't deny that he is gullible!) to publish matrimonial ads in the Sam Sunday Special (S3), the wallpaper which was produced weekly in Gymkhana.

Inspite of all consultation services and their sources of information, the 'matrimonial group' yet seeks for the solutions to many of their burning (0r impertinent?) questions Their last resort is the valuable advice of the Simis. I, therefore, earnestly request the Simis to save this clan from extinction. They are requested to write a sketchy article on "Why I selected a Sam as my husband ". I hope the Editor will offer attractive prizes for their efforts. So ladies, please do write to help some damsels (?) in distress!

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