Courtesy all those who strive to make Gym a more humorous place

Teacher : Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon ?

Pupil : The moon.

Teacher : Why ?

Pupil : The moon gives us light when we need it, but the sun gives us

light only in the day time when we don't need it.


My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called current affairs.


Teacher: Sam, you talk a lot.

Sam : It's a family tradition.

Teacher : What do you mean ?

Sam : Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher.

Teacher : What about your mother ?

Sam : She's a woman.


Pradeep: How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?

Jyoti: Don’t worry, just send a telegram. ‘Result declared, past year's performance repeated.’


Teacher: Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped

him, what virtue would I be showing ?

Pupil : Brotherly love.


Teacher : Now,Sam,tell me frankly,do you say prayers before eating ?

Sam : No sir, I don't have to. My mom is a good cook.


Patient : What are the chances of my recovering, Doctor ?

Doctor : One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out

of ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated. The others all died.


A Policeman catches a guy crossing the street at a wrong place and shouts, "Why are you crossing here? Can't you see a zebra crossing there?"

The guy replies "Let the zebra cross. What can I do?"


Do you know of a fellow who parked his car in front of a board which said "FINE FOR PARKING"


"So you're writing a down-to-earth story?"

"Yes, about a parachute jumper."


"Can you do anything that other people can't?"

"Sure, I can read my own handwriting."


"Pardon me, young lady. I'm writing a telephone book.

May I have your number?"


"Whom are you working for?"

"Same people. My wife and four kids."


"Is that you, darling?"

"Yes, who is calling?"


My wife wanted to see the world, so I bought her an atlas.


"I heard you have a cat that can say her own name."

"Yes. Meow."


"What book do you like the best?"

"My husband's cheque book."


Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Watson are hiking. They hiked all day long and then, having got tired, went to sleep in the tent. Holmes wakes up deep in the night, shakes Watson and says "Watson, do you see the bright stars and do you notice how clear the sky is? What can you deduce from it?"

"Well, this clearly tells us the weather tomorrow is going to be dry and sunny."

"Elementary, Watson: it just means that somebody has stolen our tent."

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